Dealing with Difficult People

The holiday weekend is fast approaching.  The anticipated busy July Fourth holiday weekend often leads to increased stress levels with the volume of visitors the Maryland Park Service will serve.  Wouldn't it be great to think every person you come in contact with will be pleasant this weekend?        
                                                       

The DNR Critical Incident Stress Management Team would like to help you deal with difficult people in a positive fashion.  We've pulled together some tips in hopes to help you. It’s easy to let challenging people affect us and ruin our day. 

Below are a few tips for handling unreasonable and difficult people. Keep in mind that these are general rules of thumb, and not all of the tips may apply to your particular situation. 

Keep Your Cool
Benefits: Maintain self-control. Avoid escalation of problem.

How: The first rule in the face of an unreasonable person is to maintain your composure; the less reactive you are, the more you can use your best judgment to handle the situation.

Fly Like an Eagle
Benefits: More peace of mind. Reduce risk of friction.

How: Some people in our lives are simply not worth tussling with. Your time is valuable, so unless there’s something important at stake, don’t waste it by trying to change or convince a person who’s negatively entrenched. 

Shift from Being Reactive to Proactive 
Benefits: Minimize misinterpretation & misunderstanding. Concentrate energy on problem-solving.

How: When you feel offended by someone’s words or deeds, come up with multiple ways of viewing the situation before reacting. Widening our perspective on the situation can reduce the possibility of misunderstanding.  

Use Appropriate Humor
Benefits: Disarm unreasonable and difficult behavior when correctly used.  Avoid being reactive. Problem rolls off your back. 

How: Humor is a powerful communication tool. When appropriately used, humor can shine light on the truth, disarm difficult behavior, and show that you have superior composure. 

Change from Following to Leading 
Benefit: Leverage direction and flow of communication.

How: In general, whenever two people are communicating, one is usually doing more leading, while the other is doing more following. In healthy communication, two people would take turns leading and following. However, some difficult people like to take the lead, set a negative tone, and harp on “what’s wrong” over and over. You can interrupt this behavior simply by changing the topic. Utilize questions to redirect the conversation. You can also say “By the way…” and initiate a new subject. When you do so, you’re taking the lead and setting a more constructive tone.

Steps to Resolving Conflict

Step 1 - Define the problem - use open-ended questions to help you do this and be an active listener.
"What can we.....?"
"How would you....?"
"Does the situation....?"
"Is there a better way to....?"

Step 2 - Clarify expectations and identify key players - Determine needs.

"Paraphrase the Thought, Validate the Heart"

Step 3- Identify action steps to be taken - Meeting needs.

Step 4 - Resolve to take the agreed action steps - Making the moment memorable.

Step 5 - Follow up to ensure the action steps have solved the problem - check results.

In conclusion, to know how to handle unreasonable and difficult people is to truly master the art of communication. As you utilize these skills, you may experience less grief, greater confidence, better relationships, and higher communication skills. You are on your way to leadership success!
(Source- Psychology Today)

When looking for an inspiring video to share, I found this and felt it was a fitting and a good reminder to seize the moment. Life really is short. We hope you also can reflect on this meaning and purpose.

We wish each and every one of you a safe and Happy Independence Day weekend!

Sincerely,
DNR Critical Incident Stress Management Team